Muffin

Joey Krazinsky ate muffins a lot.

He’d scarf them down until his teeth started to rot.

He gained lots of weight,

His body was in a terrible state.

Until one day he contracted salmonella from eating an undercooked muffin and it’s raw contents. He spent hours – days, even – by a toilet, expelling every ounce of fluid he had into the porcelain palace, until there was nothing left.  He continued to dry heave for a solid week until, finally, his abdominal muscles tore in half from the strain.  He’s in a wheelchair now.  He can no longer eat solid foods, especially muffins.

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Popsicle

Rufus Johnson loved his ice cream.
He’d eat it for every meal, and every snack in between.
One day, he woke from a sleep so sound,
To find he’d ballooned to 500 pounds.
This realization was short-lived, however, when the shock of his weight caused him to have a MASSIVE heart attack. Doctors tried to save him, but the defibrillators couldn’t make it through all the fat, and by the time they were able to cut through the fat down to his heart, he’d been dead for 2 hours.