Schooner

Little Billy wanted to get to school sooner

So his parents surprised him with his very own schooner

For his test he would not be late

He set sail – he could not wait

But he hit a random chop and began to lose control of his vessel. He struck his head on the ship’s wheel and fell into the water. His body washed up on the Connecticut coast three days later, bloated and swollen from the ocean. The kicker? His school was nowhere near a body of water. This purchase made literally no sense. It was tragic and pointless.

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Liminal

There once was a psychologist who loved messages subliminal.

He believed personalities could be changed with suggestions most minimal.

He hypnotized patients of varying ages

He’d implant ideas with secret phrases,

But he didn’t know how powerful his suggestions were, and several of his patients began ferociously scribbling numerical codes and constantly muttering the same phrase in Aramaic. The numbers were the exact coordinates for the lost temple of Skraal-Kalkhor, and the Aramaic phrase woke up Gruül, an ancient demigod whose thirst for blood & destruction cannot, and will not, be slaked.  All hail Gruül, the Death-Bringer.

A Guiding Light in The Dark: My tribute to Don Nixon

In life, we encounter interesting and incredible people every day, or at least every other day. Every single person we meet adds something new, however large or small, to our lives. Then, there are the extra special, extraordinary, extra incredible people that we meet only on very rare & lucky occasions and end up changing us in huge ways for life Sometimes we know these people for a few weeks, a few months, or a few years. If we’re very, very lucky, though, we’ll know these people for all our lives. We cherish these people because the help us learn, grow, and laugh along the way, and we hold them in our hearts forever.

Don Nixon was one of those extra special, once in a lifetime people.

Don Nixon was my Sunday School Teacher and Music Teacher at Willow Meadows Baptist Church when I was growing up in Houston, Texas. He helped teach me the value and power of faith in one’s life. Not just faith in God, either, but also faith in others and faith in myself. He taught me, and many, many people, about the joys of embracing one’s artistic and creative talents, which has certainly had a tremendous impact on my life.  When I decided to move to Chicago to pursue comedic and artistic endeavors, Don Nixon was one of my biggest supporters. There was a time when my self-confidence was waning, and I was starting to feel like I should move back to Texas. He (among other people) really solidified my resolve that moving here was the right thing to do, and reminded me that this is what I’ve wanted to do since I was little. I will always hold a special place in my heart for Don Nixon, as does everybody that ever had the pleasure of knowing him, because I know that, like me, there are legions of people out there whose lives have been bettered by Don Nixon’s presence.

On the afternoon of February 8, Don Nixon passed away after a battle with leukemia. He had a vibrant positive energy that just seemed to permeate from him – a constant bright light that could outshine even the darkest days. So when I learned of his passing, I swear I saw the daylight dim just a little bit.  

Don Nixon will always be loved, and he will always be missed.

Of All The Souls…

Today, a great man has passed.  A man who led an entire fleet of men, women, and children towards a new frontier.  Leonard Nimoy, who most famously portrayed Lt. Commander Spock in the groundbreaking Star Trek series, and then again in the subsequent movies, has departed from this realm.  As Spock, he taught us that logic and reason can take you far in this universe, but there is no greater power than friendship.  Real friendship.

The kind of friendship that keeps you sane when you want to go mad.

The kind of friendship that challenges you to take one more step.

The kind of friendship that reminds you that, even in life’s darkest moments, you are never truly alone.

Throughout his life and career, Leonard Nimoy expressed a passion in encouraging others to question, wonder, and explore.  He was the host the documentary series, “In Search Of”, wherein he guided viewers through some of history’s great myths and mysteries. Throughout the show, he would always provide the known facts about the case, then pose questions, rather than theories, to the audience, allowing them to draw their own conclusions.  In a way, this reinforced the idea that scientific progress lies in the questions rather than the answers; that the destination is not nearly as important as the journey.

In the entire history of the Star Trek franchise, no moment is more powerful, poignant, or gripping, than the final scene from The Wrath of Khan, where Captain Spock sacrifices himself to repair the damaged warp core and save the Enterprise from certain annihilation, but absorbs a lethal dose of radiation in the process.  Spock is afforded one last opportunity to speak with his friend, James Kirk, an exchange preceded by Dr. McCoy’s ominous statement, “Jim, you better get down here.”  With his dying breath, Spock says to Kirk, “I have been, and always shall be, your friend.  Live Long, and Prosper.”  To all the dreamers, the ponderers, nerds, and geeks of the world, he was a friend.  We always shall be his, in this life and in the next.

Nimoy offers a heart-wrenching performance in this scene. A truly talented actor.


“Of my friend, I can only say this: Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most…human.”          -Jim Kirk

Popsicle

Rufus Johnson loved his ice cream.
He’d eat it for every meal, and every snack in between.
One day, he woke from a sleep so sound,
To find he’d ballooned to 500 pounds.
This realization was short-lived, however, when the shock of his weight caused him to have a MASSIVE heart attack. Doctors tried to save him, but the defibrillators couldn’t make it through all the fat, and by the time they were able to cut through the fat down to his heart, he’d been dead for 2 hours.

Torque

Johnny Kilutis was kind of a dork,
So he bought a sports car with lots of torque.
He’d always floor it – the tires would burn,
But he found he could not handle the turns,
And his car flipped at 107 MPH & rolled over 27 times into a tree. Fortunately, Johnny was wearing his seat belt, and he walked away relatively unscathed. Unfortunately, he had an aneurism two days later, which killed him instantly.