Obligatory Post about a Sandwich

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on here. Too long. Why, you may ask? Why? Because I’m lazy, alright! There, you solved the puzzle! Are you satisfied??  

So I felt I needed to write…something. Well, I just left a lovely eating establishment known as Cheesies, and I ordered a lovely sandwich called “The Tenderizer”, a heart-stopping amalgamation of fried chicken, smoked bacon, cheddar & mozzerella cheeses, & BBQ sauce slathered between two giant slices of Texas Toast.  Folks, this sandwich is so good that every time I eat it, I cry & drool at the same time, and my tears & drool mix and pour onto the plate with the sauce drippings, creating a watery, saucy pool in which you can see your disgustingly content reflection.  Add ranch on the side for dipping and it’s a veritable tastegasm.  It’s that kind of sandwich that you struggle to duplicate and FAIL MISERABLY!  When you’re not eating it, this sandwich haunts your tastebuds to the point of sweaty insanity! The crispiness of the chicken; the aroma of the bacon; the allure of the multiple cheeses mixing together as if to say, “Hey, look. We’re gonna be alright; people are great, and the future’s bright.” 

Go to Cheesies. Get the tenderizer. Eat it, then clean yourself up, because there is no dignified way to eat this sandwich. None. And that’s a good thing. 

Also, you’re gonna wanna take a nap once you’re done. Try to avoid that urge.

Or don’t. Food naps are great. Waking up from them is a chore, though. Be aware.

Tenderizer. Get it.