Freeze

To get rid of a mole, it helps to freeze.

The offending tissue is removed with ease

If the mole does grow back

Here’s your plan of attack:

Cut off your skin. All of it. Peel it off of you like a potato. You can’t get a melanoma if you don’t have any skin.

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Kumquats

When a weightlifting mouse wants to do some squats

He’ll load up a pencil with two kumquats

He’ll push through the incredible pains

And get some sweet Mousey gains

But he’ll push too hard and the kumquats will rip his muscles apart through exertion.  He’ll be sent to tiny intensive care and have to endure tiny physical rehabilitation.  After 6 months of a frustrating healing process, he’ll feel a sense of accomplishment, but he’ll never be the same. Sure, he’ll try to lift again, but he’ll be too scared to try Kumquats again.

Fingerblast

Timmy Thompson had a talent that he learned real fast.
It seems people can’t get enough of his wonderful fingerblasts.
He was loved by his fans,
For He had magic in his hands;
Until one day, he fingerblasted the daughter of a notorious crime boss. Timmy’s hands were unceremoniously chopped off & tossed in the river. He still tries to impress people with his talents, but nobody wants to be “hookblasted” in this day and age. By now, all of Timmy’s once loyal fans have gone, and his friends have all abandoned him. All Timmy can do now is use his hook-hands to open stubborn cans of soup. It’s all he’s good for now.

Derrière

Captain McGavin lived in the air
Flying from the seat of his derrière.
But his craft flew too low;
Into the Rocky Mountains it did go,
And he crashed & killed all but 5 passengers. Destitute, He spent nearly a week eating each passenger one by one. They weren’t even stranded; they crashed literally a mile outside of Denver. Captain McGavin just really wanted an excuse to eat people. His divorce did a real number on him.