Little Billy wanted to get to school sooner
So his parents surprised him with his very own schooner
For his test he would not be late
He set sail – he could not wait
But he hit a random chop and began to lose control of his vessel. He struck his head on the ship’s wheel and fell into the water. His body washed up on the Connecticut coast three days later, bloated and swollen from the ocean. The kicker? His school was nowhere near a body of water. This purchase made literally no sense. It was tragic and pointless.