King Ferdinand lived with luxurious opulence.
From his solid gold toilet, to his leather-bound fence.
Oh, the nights he did play;
With expensive large women he did lay;
Until one night when he contracted what can only be described as “weaponized syphilis” from a prostitute named “Pile-driver Peggy” The new strain of STD rotted away both his genitalia and his brain in a matter of days. As King Ferdinand’s mangled, withered body slowly faded away, he watched as these Ladies of the Night basically cleaned him out. They stole from him without an ounce of remorse; nobody even thought to call a doctor for the opulent King. He died alone, in an empty house, with nothing left but his golden toilet, which, with his last dying act, he discovered was merely gold-plated.


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